Joke collection 2

Who is the leader of ducks?
Ans. Frog
Y?

Bcoz Frog is

'Mainduck'.

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I am The Most Outstanding Student of My Class..

Because..
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I Always Stand Outside the Class..
Proud to be Outstanding..
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A girl fell down from the 20th floor..

A boy caught her on 15th floor and asked her "Will u hug me?"

She replied, "ofcourse not"

The boy dropped her,

She was caught on the 10th floor by a boy

He asked her "will you kiss me?"

She replied "No way"

He dropped her too,

She prayed for a last chance

Boy held her on the 5th floor

She immediately said,

"Okay I will hug you and kiss you"

The boy dropped her saying,

"Bad Girl, you better Die"

MORAL: EVERY BOY IS NOT THE SAME.
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Girl friend is like internet virus.

She will enter in your life.

Scan your pocket.

Transfer your money.

Edit your mind.

Download her problem.

Delete your smile.

And hang your life.

So avoid your girlfriend & send her number to me?

I am a professional antivirus.
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Teacher: jo mere agle sawal ka jawab dega, woh ghar ja sakta h..

Tabhi Santa apna bag bahar fek deta h..

Teacher: woh bag kisne feka???

Santa: maine, aur ab mai ghar ja rha hu...
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At 18 a lady is a football, 22 men after her.
At 28 a lady is a Basketball, 10 men after her.
At 38 a lady is a Golf ball, 1 man after her.
At 48 a lady is a TT ball, 1 man pushing her to the other =))
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A dying granny tells her granddaughter, "I want to leave you my farm. That includes the villa,
the tractor, and other equipment, the farmhouse and $22,398,750.78 in cash.
" The granddaughter, absolutely floored, says, "Oh Granny, you are SO generous!
I didn't even know you had a farm. Where is it?" With her last breath, Granny whispered,
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"FACEBOOK.. =))
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The Polite Way to Pee

During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question: '

Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to... the bathroom?'

Michael said: 'Just a minute I have to go pee.'

The teacher responded by saying: 'That would be rude and impolite‚. What about you Sherman, how would you say it?'

Sherman said: 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.

' 'That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.

And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?'

Johnny said: 'I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce to you after dinner.'

The teacher was speechless.
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Miss : Aaj Tum Late Q Aaye?
School 8 baje Shuru Hota Hy phir der Q Ki?
bacha:
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Miss, Aap Meri Itni Fikar Mat Kiya Karo .
Dost SHAK krty Hain.... xD
Teacher shock:D
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Santa: Bachpan me maa ki bat suni hoti to aaj ye din na dekhna padta
Banta: Kya kehti thi maa?
Santa: Jab bat hi nahi suni to kaise batau.
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Your Ex-GirlFriend Asking If U Can Still Be Friends After A Break-Up..
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It Is Like..
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A Kidnapper Telling U To Keep In Touch.!!
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Girl- Which Computer Do U Have?
Boy- I Have A Computer With Intel Core I7
Processor At 3.3 Ghz, Windows 7, 64 Bit, 8gb Ram
& Nvidia Gtx 560 Graphics Card B-)
Boy- Which Computer Do YOU Have???
Girl- A PINK ONE !!
Wht To Say Nw....:
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According To A Research
87% Of Young People Have
Back Pain.
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. The Other 13% Have No
Computer. :
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wo Tigers Were Resting Under A Tree..
Suddenly A RABBIT Passed Very Fast
Tiger Could Not Make Out & Asked
"What Was That?"

2nd Tiger Smiled And Said:
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Fast Food..XP :P
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Attitude Of Youth :)

"We Are MOre Brilliant Than Einstein And Newton..
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It's Just They Didn't Leave Anything For Us To Invent"
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Millions Of People Write Love Letters.

But Everyone Send There 1st Love Letter Mostly To Me,

Just Imagine How Lucky I M!

Great Words
Said By

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** DUST BIN **
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Puchta Hai Jab Koi

Ki

Duniya Me Mohabbat Hai Kaha


Muskura Deta Hu Mai

Aur

Yaad Aa Jaati Hai


MAA




Ki



Pyari



Si



Hone
Wali
'BAHU'
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WAY 2 IMPRESS a GIRL

>Respect her

>Honour her

>Lov her

>Protect her

>Care 4her

But,

For girls:HOW 2IMPRESS A BOY



>Just smile



khatam

Ladka
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Amma: Beta Rajni, apne solar heater se garam pani nahi aa raha hai ?

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Rajnikant- yanna raskala,ruko amma suraj theek kar k aata hu.. :-)
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Kambal aur razai ko kro maaf

Cooler or A.C krlo saaf

Ab bina nahaye nai banegi baat

Apne nature me rakho NARMI

Meri taraf se apko HAPPY GARMI..
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A hot gal goes to profesor's room & said-pass hone k liye mai kuch b krne k liye tyar hu.
Prfsr-kuch b?
Grl-sure




Proffesor-to padh le beti..
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Shayari dat wud blow ur senses-

Roses r red,
Facebook is blue

Roses r red
Facebook is blue

44 mutual friends
Fir b kaun hai be tu .. ;)
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Techar:Galti hone pe maafi magne wale ko kya kehte hai

GOLU:samajdar

Techar: aur galti na hone pe bhi mafi magne waale ko?



GOLU: boyfriend
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Content: BHEJA_FRY
Height of behaving cool
Professor to studnt:



Nalayak, class me baatein kyu kr rha h






Student- sir, mere messages free nahi hain isliye:-)
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Jo mil gaya use MUQADDAR samjho
Khud ko waqt ka SIKANDAR samjho
Q darte ho Ap Gham k Tufano se
Gham ko Kele ka Ped aur khud ko BANDAR samjho
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Dr:tum roj 5km walk kro to 1 sal me 50kg wazan km ho jayega
1 sal bad sardr fone pe dr. saab wazan to km ho gya mgar sala ghar se 1825 km door pahuch gaya hun
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Acha Dost TAKIYE k jaisa Hota h
Muskil me Sine se Lga Skte H
Dukh me uspe Ro Skte H
Khusi me Gale Laga Skte he
or
gusse me laat bhi maar skte hai..
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Agar "TUM" MIL-Jao'
Toh TAANGEN
THOD-Denge HUM,

Tumhe PAA-Kar
Tumhare-PEECHHE
"KUTHTHE" CHHOD-Denge HUM.
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1 topi bechne wala ped k niche aram kr rha tha k achanak kuch bandar uski topiya utha kr le gye.
Use ekdum apne dada ki sunai kahani yaad aayi or usne apni 1 topi utha kr phek di.
1 monkey aya, us topi ko uthaya or ek THAPPAD mar k bola.
"Saale tu kya sochta hai hamara dada hame kahani nhi suna k gaya."
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Afridi-ham sachin ko kisi b haal me 100 nhi banane denge

Misbah-Magar ham kaise rokenge,Hez in form?

Afridi-Ham 100 k under allout ho jaenge
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Aarz Karta Hu.

Zara si baat par kyu bigadte ho sarji



wah wah



zara si baat par kyu bigadte ho sarji



Boost is the secret of our energy
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Maa- Beta tujhe DELHI jane me 1 din lagta he aur lautne me 4 din Q?

PAPPU- CAR banane walo ki galti he, jane k 4 gear diye aur back k liye sirf 1 :S
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Patni-Jaanu, Aaj Apne Bahut Dino Baad Meri Photo Kheenchi Hai

Pati-Kya Karu, Aaj Mere Sar Pe Wild-Life Photography Ka Bhoot Sawaar Hua Hai.
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Man 2 h0tel maneger:
Jaldi chaliye meri biwi khidkise kudkr jan derahi he.
Mngr:To isme me kya karu?
Man:Kamine!
Khidki nai khul rahi!:
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